My journal entry...

Dear Messed up, Unreliable, Unhealthy Reproductive Organs,

I've kept you warm and in tact for over 24 years now....so why must you continue to let me down? I'm young, healthy, and on a mission to start a family (well, when Jeff returns from Iraq of course) and you continue to keep giving me false hope. I give you meds, you soak them up and then spit them out...Doctors poke me and stick me, and you laugh with your empty grin on the ultrasound machine....

Seriously, if you want to mess with someone's fertility; why not do it to someone who DOESN'T want children? I'm angry, frustrated, pissed, and annoyed with you...stupid reproductive organs.

You have managed to tease me 5 times and then crash and burn 100 m0re. What will it take for just one miracle? Let me know...and I promise to do it! I'll soak you with only water, I'll cut out sweets (again), I'll try all the new "trial" drugs....just give me one miracle.

Doctors say it's because of PCOS....BUT I think you're plotting a big surprise when we're flat broke, in the middle of our big move from Hawaii to Colorado, stressed out and exhausted....you'll hit me with a big BFP! I just know it...come on don't let us down!

Mom was told it wasn't possible and here I am....so guess what; sometimes reproductive organs have a heart and straighten up...lol...so try it sometime. I'll be eternally grateful. If you give me this miracle soon, I'll return the favor and name our first born (girl) after you...seriously....mORGAN it is!

So, once again my sweet, kind, sensitive, perfectly created reproductive organs....look past my angry remarks every 28 days when you must make my life stressful and create us a beautiful egg which doctors can work with....

Waiting on a miracle,
Desperate to be " Mommy-to-be "

P.S. The sweets comment was just a joke...girls gotta have sweet so girls' parts gotta have sweets too! :)