Dear Messed up, Unreliable, Unhealthy Reproductive Organs,
I've kept you warm and in tact for over 24 years now....so why must you continue to let me down? I'm young, healthy, and on a mission to start a family (well, when Jeff returns from Iraq of course) and you continue to keep giving me false hope. I give you meds, you soak them up and then spit them out...Doctors poke me and stick me, and you laugh with your empty grin on the ultrasound machine....
Seriously, if you want to mess with someone's fertility; why not do it to someone who DOESN'T want children? I'm angry, frustrated, pissed, and annoyed with you...stupid reproductive organs.
You have managed to tease me 5 times and then crash and burn 100 m0re. What will it take for just one miracle? Let me know...and I promise to do it! I'll soak you with only water, I'll cut out sweets (again), I'll try all the new "trial" drugs....just give me one miracle.
Doctors say it's because of PCOS....BUT I think you're plotting a big surprise when we're flat broke, in the middle of our big move from Hawaii to Colorado, stressed out and exhausted....you'll hit me with a big BFP! I just know it...come on don't let us down!
Mom was told it wasn't possible and here I am....so guess what; sometimes reproductive organs have a heart and straighten up...lol...so try it sometime. I'll be eternally grateful. If you give me this miracle soon, I'll return the favor and name our first born (girl) after you...seriously....mORGAN it is!
So, once again my sweet, kind, sensitive, perfectly created reproductive organs....look past my angry remarks every 28 days when you must make my life stressful and create us a beautiful egg which doctors can work with....
Waiting on a miracle,
Desperate to be " Mommy-to-be "
P.S. The sweets comment was just a joke...girls gotta have sweet so girls' parts gotta have sweets too! :)
Park City Utah
2 years ago
4 comments:
Don't worry Leza. They're gonna go into overdrive as soon as Jeff gets home. Leza will be the military octomom :) Jeff is going to get promoted to 1st SGT just cause they'll feel bad for him having eight kids at once, haha...
LOL, I love what Roxy said. Things are going to work out for ya'll. And it will come at the most unexpected time. Love you girl.
Good to have a new friend in Christ. I have met so many people through Kelly..love her! I hope you will drop in every once in a while and remind me to see how thing are with you...
waiting with you.
Oh my! I just now read the prayer to your reproductive organs! What a great thing to do-to pray to them!! Trust me, God hears your plans, sweetie! (I'm old, so don't think the "sweetie" was not sincere)!! I know you are struggling and I'm so sorry for that. Can you somehow try to pray and ask God to give you peace about having a baby and concentrate on letting Him take care of it for you instead? Can you try just laying it ALL at HIS FEET....and letting Him do!! ?? I know it won't be easy, but I feel so sad and bad for what you're going through and I did tell you what we went through with losing a full term baby girl back the day the men 1st walked on the moon way back on July 20, 1969. It was, of course, one of the worst days of our lives but it was just one of three we lost. Then FINALLY God blessed us with a baby boy!! I struggled very hard with what I was dealt in life but I had to finally make peace with it and just lay it there at God's feet-and when I did-he blessed us with a baby. We were in midst of adoption at the time, too!! I just couldn't take not having a baby after losing so many and wanted one like immediately after losing our baby girl!! Back then, it wasn't hard to get a baby though and it didn't take that long either. We were going through Edna Gladney in Ft. Worth, TX for adoption and we had gotten to our first home visit with them and I just had this feeling come over me (I didn't know yet I was going to find out in about another week's time that we were pregnant!!) that I couldn't go through with the adoption!! I felt like since I WAS able to have children, I just couldn't feel good about taking a baby that someone else couldn't have. So we halted the adoption....and lo and behold, one week later, we found out we were going to have one!! That's our one and only child (as I told you in that other extra long comment we lost one in a car accident but we also had a miscarriage not long after my hubby got home from Viet Nam too-so actually we lost 3 babies!!)....but God was good to us-and he finally answered our prayers and although we had that horrible car accident and that terminated any chances of us ever having another one-at least God DID give us one son. That son's now 39 yrs old (born Sept. 1970)-just about 14 mo. after we lost our full term baby girl I told you who's laid to rest about 12 miles here in E. Texas where we live. So you hang in there-but I PRAY you will lay all of this at God's feet-and put all your trust in Him....and I will be praying VERY VERY HARD for you-as I know others will be also-that you will have a baby....and it will be in God's time, for sure, I'm sure.
Please hang in there and try hard not to think anything but positive thoughts after you lay all of it at His feet-and just maybe by the grace of God-He WILL bless you with a baby!! Of course I'm nobody to be telling you what to do.....but I KNOW your frustrations in a way. I was able to have children and didn't have anything to keep me from having them but for some reason we kept on losing them.....and it WAS EXTREMELY HARD on us....it was tear jerking and so hard on our hears and minds but I promise you-once I let go and let God take it all in-and got some peace about it-that's when He decided to bless us. I will be praying for the same for you, honeychile!! I really will be!! :)
Donna from E. Texas
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