I am just so excited to share that I worked on #s 35 & 41. As you can see from my previous post that these two goals were 35. Pray outside of the box and 41. Sing louder in church.
Today was the first time I visited church in a few weeks. I was feeling a little "lost" prior to Jeff's two week r&r from Iraq so I did not attend for a few weeks and I know it's not an excuse but we skipped church those two weeks.
But, the good news is I WENT TODAY! I was telling my husband and a few friends that I felt so GREAT at church today. Not because it's a wonderfully accepting house of the Lord, not because everyone has such great smiles, not because it's the only place you can worship in board shorts and bathing suits, not because I sat beside a good friend but because I FELT HIM! In the music, in the sermon, in the air I felt Him today. ALL AROUND ME! I had a very difficult week and for some reason I felt like He was not here, I cried last night asking "where are you when I need YOU" and I honestly felt His arms wrap around me and say "I'm here". I also told my husband today that I am starting to feel peace with my body's inability to carry a child. It pains my heart, I constantly wonder if I"ll ever have my own but I feel a sense of peace that He WILL provide.
Ok so back to my goals...I sang louder today. I did not blow anyone's ear drums out, but I sang louder. I sang TO Him, for Him, and in His honor. I sang louder.
My other goal, to pray outside of the box. This was something I did for myself. I asked msyelf to not just pray before bed, before meals or when I needed something but I prayed "outside of the box". I pulled into the driveway today and just felt an urgency come over my heart to pray for someone. I do not know if this person needed my prayers, but I just prayed for her. I also put in a little word for my dear husband and his soldiers ;) I prayed again in the middle of my kitchen. I thanked Him for the sermon He preached that I felt was directed toward me. The sermon was on comfort vs fear of Him. I have been struggling with "feeling him" and finding comfort in Him. I do fear him, oh boy do I fear Him. I know He saw me steal that cookie from the kitchen when I was younger and I still beg for His forgiveness. I just need to learn comfort in the Holy Spirit. I often doubt that someone, something, He is listening. And with a simple prayer in my kitchen, I felt Him again...two days in a row. What a glorious and wonderful Lord we serve.
"...and walking in the fear of the Lord, and in the comfort of the Holy Ghost, were multiplied."Acts 9: 31
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