I remember reading someone's blog a few weeks ago and saw her pregnancy ticker..."only 112 days to go". I remember thinking "wow, she is so lucky and time is flying by for her". Today I was catching up on reading my favorite blogs and noticed my ticker says "110 days to go". I didn't even catch that a few days ago. The days have definately been flying by...some more than others. I had a little moment today where I suddenly realized how quickly she will be here and we must get everything ready. I know that seems silly considering we have so much, but I feel like there is so much left to do.
I've been struggling lately with anxiety....about finances. We are very blessed to be a military family with a constant paycheck. But, we are going to be a one-income family soon and for the last 6 years I have ALWAYS had a job and contributed to the bills. It has really taken a toll on my nerves having to budget on just my husband's income and figure out how to make sure we can have enough to provide for Peighton. Our family and friends have been so giving in the last few months helping us prepare for Peighton and it really reminds me that we are so blessed to have so many people love us and her. Last night I had one of those moments while Jeff and I were out on a movie/dinner date. (We're trying to do it alot more now before she comes along and those days are limited). But, today I was reminded when a blog reader went out of her way to send us something that is so thoughtful. When I have these anxiety moments and fearful moments worrying about money my husband always reminds me that we will be ok and that God will always provide. He is so right! :)
As far as what is left to do. Not much. We just need to purchase her swing, bouncer seat, wipes, and safety items (nail clippers for example). I am slowly working on our cloth diaper stash. I have a few prefolds so far and expecting a few more soon. I also have one diaper cover and one AIO so far. I'm planning to buy about 5 more diaper covers and 7 more AIOs next week and hopefully that will be enough for her first few months.
Emotionally....I feel so ready. I remember in 2008 dreaming of having a child and being a family. I got pregnant and it did not work out. I had so much built up anger and worry. I thought we were being punished, I felt unloved, I felt broken. God promises healing and now 3 years later, we are being blessed with the greatest gift I ever imagined. I cannot wait to hold her in my arms and give glory to the ONE who blessed us with her. I think reality is hitting Jeff as well. He said to me last night "so, there's no going back, huh? she's really coming." It was like his "ah-ha" (as Oprah would say) moment. We both talk about holding her, argue over who will get to hold her more, and what outfits we can't wait to snuggle her in. I never imagined I would be a mother and Peighton Joy is definately my answered prayer.